Issue 25: First Date Questions - Answered
hey, how are you? did you have a hard time finding this place?
"I’m fine, and no, I did not have a hard time finding this place. Writing has always been easy for me; it's my most natural way of communication, the primary means to express my thoughts and feelings. Lately, I’ve been exploring other forms of expression, like photography and drawing. Did you know I used to love visual arts? I mean, I still do, right? But I used to engage more in drawing, painting, and sculpting. However, in high school, it was impossible to achieve a perfect score of 10/10 in Art. Consequently, I left the class for bricklaying and blocklaying, despite having no interest in becoming a bricklayer and lacking any natural talent for laying bricks. My motivation was to become the best student in my class, and I believed that taking a course without the possibility of earning a perfect score was not the way to go. What did I gain from the switch? Three years later, I received the prize for the best graduating student. However, now, nine years later, I find myself picking up drawing again. In hindsight, I regret dropping it."
do you like pasta? what drink would you like to order? mimosas or pina coladas? would you like some bbq sauce? are you feeling cold?
"No, I don't really fancy pasta. For drinks, let’s start with cocktails. Confession: I never go for a mocktail. I think it’s a waste of an opportunity to just have guiltless alcohol. Why would anyone give up that chance for a mocktail? Sad. And yes, I am actually feeling cold. I brought a jacket, but it doesn’t quite fit what I’m wearing right now, so I put it in my tote bag. I think I’m just going to wear it so I don’t start shivering."
tell me about yourself. did anything cool happen at work today? something you’re grateful for, something that pissed you off? is there a place you miss, is there a nostalgia you avoid intentionally? do you love the rain, would you dance in it or shut your doors and windows during a storm? do you see people as windows or mirrors?
"About myself, what do you want to know really? And yes, something cool happened at work. I took my camera to the office and took pictures of my colleagues. I’m still perfecting my photography skills, and it feels good to finally be able to take one or two shots; for that, I’m grateful. I had a relatively good day, well, maybe except for Lagos traffic. And I do see people as windows, only very few people as mirrors. No, I haven’t watched Bojack Horseman. Someone I really love put me up to watching it a while ago, and we sat together in her living room watching. I had no clue what I was watching, but she was happy, and I was happy that she was happy, so I watched. I don’t understand astrology well enough to form a belief or disbelief, but my friend Treasure does, so I believe by association."
what does your room look like, what would you like it to look like? are you a lekki minimalist or do you prefer houses that look like they belong to igbo chiefs from nollywood movies, with all the gold furnishings? if you were to create a playlist to describe your life, what songs will be on it? would you ever dye your hair a bright colour, like turquoise or pink? do you listen to rema? do you like tattoos?
"There's a bed in the corner and above the bed, on the wall, paintings and paper clippings. On the other side of the room, I have a small table and a chair that make up my workspace. Sometimes, I consider moving my workspace to the sitting room, thinking it might better serve my room, but I haven’t gotten around to doing that just yet. Maybe I will one of these days, really. Maybe I will.
Songs on my playlist:
'You’re a memory' by Message to the Bears,
'Leave a light on' by,
'Outro' by M83,
'When it’s cold, I’d like to die' by Moby.
I love tattoos, but their permanence worries me."
do you know what your heartbeat sounds like, or how your eyes gleam under the lights? have you ever sat down to talk to yourself, to listen to what your spirit is saying? have you ever walked barefoot on granite, or climbed a mountain just to listen to the music in your lungs? do you like butterflies? have you ever been chased by a dog?
"I know what my heartbeat sounds like. There was a time two years ago when my friend, who introduced me to Bojack Horseman, and I listened to each other’s heartbeats. Hers were beating faster than mine, but not just from love; I wish life were that poetic. Back in university, I used to climb hills with my friends and sometimes alone just to sit and cry while the world was spiralling below me. Crying never made sense then; it just felt like the only available thing to do. So I did it."
would you change anything if today was the last day of your life? who would you call and who would you catch that bus to see for the first or last time? how’s your relationship with your parents, how are you feeling today, how is your heart? are you enjoying your food? would you like to taste mine? here, have a bite. what would be important for potential friendships you’d make to know about you? what would you rather hide?
"No, I wouldn't change anything. Changing anything now would be too late. Also, no food to enjoy. These people haven’t even brought my cocktail. They've come back twice to confirm my orders, and it's not fair, really. What I would want potential friendships to know about me is written here. In summary, I think as much as I feel, one does not often supersede the other."
would you break my heart if i was brave enough to want this? would you allow me to hold you for a while, or would you melt like ice in a tumbler, forming pools of regret. to have someone to dote on is a blissful thing, but people prefer to be loved than to love. it’s not that i didn’t know it was easier this way, i just want everything. the entrails, the rinds, the nitty gritty details of a life as strange and beautiful as mine. i want to know you beyond the tweets and the streaks, the green circles and love emojis. so much to explore, to adore and to fall for.
"Most likely, we would break each other’s hearts. I’m learning how fragile hearts are, and that has made me hesitant to take on any as mine, except that which is actually indeed mine, naturally. Is there really a me beyond the tweets and the streaks that I never send? Is there a me beyond the green circles? You know all about me already. What more do you want? The size of my sixth tooth? It’s 3.5."
If you’re feeling funky like me, you can read the piece that inspired this. It’s written by my friend, Treasure Okure. Read here.
Thanks to Mmesoma Anaka, Toyosi Light and Emmanuel Faith for reading drafts of this.
You write so beautifully 🥺
Love how although it was a dialogue it felt more like an introspective monologue.
And thank you for sharing fancy pastas!
My week gets better when I get to read your issue🥺. And it was much more cuter than I expected.
This was beautiful and lovely to read.
And it kept pinching me to write something this heart felt.