To the ladies who read the ER Club, Happy International Women’s Day! They say March is your month so I guess we’ll continue celebrating throughout the month.
In this issue, I’m sharing 10 online reads I’ve enjoyed in recent times. Some of them are old gems I return to every now and then, like Wanjiku’s The Letter - I love this piece so much I sent Wanjiku an Instagram DM years after it was written asking if she had any other writing I could read. And guess what - she replied!
Some of the writings here are quite recent and modern, a piece that would contain words like “savage”, “peak”, and “chic”, not in their original Shakespearean meanings but in the meanings they’ve now been given in the era of TikTok. Some are about womanhood while others are about random topics. The only common denominator here is that they are all written by women. I hope you enjoy these recommendations and share them with the women in your life. Excerpts are in italics.
‘It’s Not Just Burnout:’ How Grind Culture Fails Women - Rachel Hislop.
“I’ve thought about how I want to spend my time and life, and this role is simply not aligned with those plans.”
Those were the words I believe I said when I quit my CEO position just three months into the role. But it could have been any variation of jargon that actually came out—my body was pulsating with so much anxiety it’s hard to remember. As I tapped the red “end call” button, an unfamiliar wave of relaxation slowly elbowed out the pit that had lived in my stomach for months. For the first time in my life, I’d quit. I quit! There was no immediate action plan. I just knew there was a new way of being in this pandemic-ridden world, and I could no longer lead others without imagining a brave new future for myself.”
Wherever you are grieving - Alice Walker
“There used to be such a thing
As melodrama
When feelings could be
Made up,
But now there is bare pain
And sorrow,
A sense of endlessly missed
Opportunities”
The Age of Anti-Ambition - Noreen Malone
The act of working has been stripped bare. You don’t have little outfits to put on, and lunches to go to, and coffee breaks to linger over and clients to schmooze. The office is where it shouldn’t be — at home, in our intimate spaces — and all that’s left now is the job itself, naked and alone. And a lot of people don’t like what they see.safe - Treasure Okure
I don’t remember ever feeling safe. Before I was born, my father got transferred from Lagos, the commercial hub of the country, to Aba, a city toned Sepia. And on a Monday afternoon some months later, I came out from my mother screaming with my mouth wide open. My mother says I was an ugly child, but my father says I was beautiful, and I know he means it because I see it in his eyes when he says it. Though it doesn’t make my mother wrong.
Testing My Fertility at the End of My World - Rachel Hislop
If years of therapy have taught me anything, it’s that usually, the first reaction isn’t the emotion but an expression of the emotion we have buried. And so, I let the waves crash, felt the feelings of the news, and became inquisitive. I didn’t care about my ex having babies; I didn’t wish it was me having them with him, so what was I actually mourning?Tracking the Demise of My Marriage on Google Maps - Maggie Smith
My husband moved out about six weeks ago, marking the end of our nearly 19-year relationship, but Google Maps hasn’t noticed yet. That morning I had whisked the children away so he and two friends from law school could load his things into a U-Haul and drive to the house he had rented.‘I obtained a prize I never wanted’: Nobel laureate Annie Ernaux opens up to Sally Rooney - Sally Rooney and Annie Ernaux
I’m going to be brutal, and say: I obtained a prize I never wanted. It fell into my life a bit like a bomb. Since winning it, I cannot write – and, after 40 years as a writer, being unable to look forward to writing is almost painful. What touched me most was when readers, having recognised something of themselves in my writing, said to me: “It is us who have won the Nobel Prize.”Ebbs and Flows of Serendipity - Keyukemi Ubi
Earlier in the year, I tried to see a therapist again. I couldn't return to my previous one for reasons I can't get into right now. Finding a reasonably priced, helpful, non-judgemental one was hard. The first person I tried to see only listened to me for 20 minutes before trying to shove antidepressant pills down my throat.I get it; I was really fucked up between insomnia, parasomnia, nightmares, hurt, anger and bitterness, plus a history of anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. It was not looking good, babes. I was a real shell of a person and a hot, raving mess. But even though, even though!
Deconstructing Love - Kamsy A Anyachebelu
I am writing this from a cafe my previous partner introduced me to while eating a delicious chicken wrap which was his favorite thing on the menu. I am frustrated because, like everyone else in the country, the banking crisis is making my life increasingly difficult. I attempted to pay for my chicken wrap six times. Usually, when I am in a money fix like this one, I would immediately call said previous partner, and he would make a transfer. But I can’t call him now, cause after several years of a topsy-turvy but very loving romantic journey, we have gone our separate ways. After the sixth payment attempt, the POS machine miraculously worked.The Letter - Wanjiku Mungai
I was nine years old when Wairimu, seventeen at the time, left the letter to our parents on the coffee table so that it was the first thing you saw as soon as you had entered the house. It was Easter weekend, so nobody saw it until Saturday morning when we returned from Good Friday overnight prayers at church, by which time Wairimu had filled a bag with her clothes, stolen the money kept in the kitchen for daily purchases and made her escape.Even at that age I knew that it was a stupid decision.
I hope you enjoy these reads. Don’t forget to share them.
In the last issue, I asked about writing you 500 words everyday of the week and I’m surprised so many of you are interested in this. I guess I’m going to do it now, won’t I? I’ve had a long week of work, traveling, becoming a TEDx speaker [more on this later 😅] and seeing old friends. Soon, I’ll reply your comments and get to it.
Thanks to the women who always take the extra moment every other Sunday to edit my newsletter before I hit publish:
Mmesomachukwu Anaka
Toyosi Light
Kome Olowu
Omoremi Onipede
Stephanie Orkuma
Oyinlola Akindele
Simisola Jentry
Oyindrop
Nmabuobi Oba
Happy International Women’s Day Month to you! 🎉
Have a bright and colorful week and remember, you’re so beautiful. 🫵🏽