The New Year Issue: You Are Not Without Power

In case you are feeling powerless in the new year, this is for you.

Jan 02, 2023

person sitting on blue wooden bench on beach during daytime — Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

There are two parts to this issue so yeah, it’s a long one. Part 1 is about the power of writing. Paert 2 is about the power of You.

Part 1.

I am still trying to get over the fact that we are in a new year already. This giant thing that we have all been gazing towards is finally here, at our feet. How do we conquer it?

On days like this, I like to read a lot. I like to read people’s end-of-the-year reviews and see how they lived their year. Did they read books like me? Did they suffer anxiety as I did? Are they also scared of the new year? Are they scared that all their friends will make great progress and they will be left with nothing but air in their hands? Are they worried that their parents are getting older? Did they also go home and see their parents' skin crumble under the pressure of age? Did they see their eyes go dark, their teeth missing one or two, their speech slow and reduced, their gait bent? Am I the only one noticing the grey hair or are we in this together?

This is why I read a lot: to find other people like me. To see people who hold up a mirror to my face and instead of my sad face staring back at me, I see a group of people saying, “We are all in this together man. You are not alone.” This is also part of why I write. Writing for me is like crying for help in the wilderness. It’s me saying, “Is anyone out here? Can anyone hear me?”- with the hope that someone will step out of the woods and say, “Hey, I’m here. I see you. I hear you.”

On Twitter.

Yesterday, around two in the morning, I made such a call again and I went to bed. I woke up the next morning to over a hundred notifications on Twitter. Apparently, this call I made in the dark was heard by thousands of people and now I have five thousand likes and two thousand retweets from people saying, This is me. This is how I feel. You just wrote about me. I can relate to this. And in their acknowledgment of this, they validate me. They say, Hey writer, you are not going through this alone. This is the beauty of writing, that we can be alone and dying, then we send out a word, and people come rushing to our help saying, Hey, take my hand. Let’s swim ashore together.

Thank you to every one of you who follow me on Twitter and retweet my tweets. I mostly tweet about reading and books. Once in a while, I write threads like this, this, and this and they blow up. I am overwhelmed by the attention. Between yesterday and today alone, I have had about 400 people follow me on Twitter. Every time I pick up my phone, there is someone quoting the thread or liking or saying Thank you. I am in awe of the power of writing.

Part 2.

On being alone

As humans, we like to feel among, to not be alone. It's a survival instinct. Our primal ancestors did not have the luxury of being ‘solo travelers’. Solo means you become meat for wild animals. So they stuck together. Because we are their descendants, although there is no wild animal chasing us, we still feel the need to stick with people, to belong, and to not be alone. This is why I am sharing today’s essay, so that you know you’re not alone. It’s titled The Selfish Years and it’s written by Alejandra Naranjo.

person holding white, orange, and black pullover hoodie — Photo by nrd on Unsplash

In the essay, Alejandra talks about what it means to be in your 20’s. She starts with this quote from the Japanese photographer Kyoko Escamilla which says,

“Your 20’s are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all aspects of you. Tinker with shit, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.”

If you’re in your 20’s, you can probably relate to this. You must have heard this at one point in time. People tell you to explore during your 20’s. Have fun, play hard. Remember you are still young and you are independent. Soon, you will have some little humans calling you daddy and mummy and you won’t be able to travel or explore anymore. This is your time, take it!

You’re probably there wondering, how do I do this? I am still in school, studying a course I do not even love. I am still looking for a job so I don’t have to call my parents every single time I need to make a purchase. I’m still living under my parents’ roof in Akure. I am still struggling to meet deadlines at work. I literally worked all through the holidays. How exactly am I supposed to explore life? I am still figuring my life out. To this, Alejandra writes:

Have you ever felt like everyone has life figured out, but you? Well, I have good news for you. Everyone feels the same way!
It is often easy to get lost in the pressure of figuring out life, school, jobs, and everything in between. We are at that weird age where we are too young to have life figured out, yet we are too old to not be working towards something. However, your twenties are your prime time to be selfish, and that’s okay. These years will shape who we are in the future. It is up to us to decide what experiences, places, and people will influence that.

What I like most about this essay is how realistic the writer gets. Most people just say, “Live your life. Explore. Travel.” But you’re there wondering, “With which money? With which time?” Some of the advice you get about living in your 20s is super unrealistic. This is why Alejandra writes:

Although not all of us are blessed enough to live in a cultural rich place, or have enough funds to travel the world, there is also room to explore and experience new things. It is easy to get trapped in the mindset that things make you happy. Spending money on experiences and not things can truly change your life and mindset.

I’ll be the first one to admit that it can be harder than it sounds, planning for things that seem so far ahead sometimes gets lost in the middle of immediate satisfaction. But traveling, concerts, museums and every other new experience you can think of come with something that things can provide, memories and once again knowledge.

Apply for your dream job, dare to choose a career you love, whatever that might be, she writes.

She gives the advice necessary and then acknowledges that not everything is as easy as it sounds and some may not even be feasible. It’s left to you to figure out what applies to you and what doesn’t.

Perhaps the most important part of this essay is the title: The Selfish Years and the quote it comes from. They all point to one thing: you. You are the most important variable in this equation called life. And it doesn’t matter whether you are 30 or 40, this goes for all. And that is the silver lining in all this turbulence, the fact that you are not powerless. You hold a lot of sway. Power resides within you. You can choose to love someone. You can choose to explore new interests. You can choose to learn a skill. You can choose to start a YouTube channel. You can choose to do Yoga. You can choose to be selfish about your life. You are not without power.

So this new year, how do you plan to live your selfish years? Where do you want to travel to? It doesn’t have to be outside the country. It can be another state. Where do you want to explore? It can be a popular sight in your town. What books do you want to read? What movies do you want to watch? What friends do you want to love? What relationships do you want to pursue? This may be the time to open your heart to love and say, “Come in.” What’s your plan for this new year? How would you like to flex your power?

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