Some of my most gorgeous, richest , most successful friends right now are 30+. I even made a joke recently about how two of my friends unlocked a different kind of beauty after clocking 30.
I think people talk about the twenties being the peak of enjoyment in respect/relative to freedom from responsibilities and the less weight of consequences of your actions
Agree with that second paragraph and can only imagine how beautiful the future years will be if we only approach them with open mindedness and don’t write them off.
Love this so much. Two experiences that helped with ridding me of this idea that our 20s (which I’m also currently in) are the best time of our lives
- I have more friends who are crossing the “boundary” into being 30+. They have so much joy and freedom. I don’t see anything stop or change. Some have kids and families, some don’t. Regardless, they are still live their lives. Fully.
- I saw a recent statistic about how much money you make over your lifetime. On average, the 20s are (significantly) the lowest compared to when you’re older and wiser. Money isn’t happiness, of course, but I think this statistic a good metaphor for most other things. There are so many experiences to be had, people to be met, things to be done, than we could possibly amass in our 20s. It’s physically impossible for these to be the best years.
So here’s to living each decade with the view of exploring life in some new fascinating way. Thank you for sharing!
really love this! honestly, I don't think there's any reason to just take that narrative without challenging it too. happiness and joy might look different at different stages of life, but still real!
I’m 30, and my twenties were very much “breaking, surviving, being adrift”. There’s no way I’m swallowing the thought that the best times are my 20s cos I’m just gearing up to living the rest of my life as my bests over and over
I think that when people talk about your 20s being the best years of your life, it's usually in a context that you describe, the context of freedom and being able to figure things out.
But I think what we value as we grow changes, changing what we use to measure how good our lives are.
And different stages of our life come with different tradeoffs, but I think ultimately, it's finding at those stages, what we value most at that time and finding joy in them, doing them as best we can. If in your 30s, raising kids is what will bring you joy, then you should pursue that ultimately and shift as you need to.
But ultimately, define what will make you happy at different stages of your life and pursue it. And remember that it's not illogical that today is currently your best day, but tomorrow can also be your best day.
i have honestly sat down with this thought: what will i be doing for the rest of my life if i live my best life now? life will be boring, tiring and unfulfilling.
i am in my 20s, and my mantra to life is: live each day at a time. i do not know if I will be alive by my 30s or 40s, but one thing I am never going to do is to cram my 20s with too many things, trying to live all of life in this phase. i am going to achieve things at their right time: get a good job, get married (if i change my mind on this), have kids, travel the world, even if it delays into my 40s or 50s.
Answer for you: I don't think I have seen the twenties as the best years of life. I haven't thought about it like that, however my mum always tells me to enjoy this age because it doesn't come back again. To make memories to look back on, memories of being as young and carefree. Memories of (non-costly) mistakes such as using the wrong hair dye for your hair and learning the lesson in a funny way. Memories of being around friends before responsibilities and life take them away to different parts of the world.
I think this is why people tend to call it the best years. The nostalgia associated with things we could do freely. But life brings new experiences with every chapter and, like you stated, the best is still ahead.
Some of my most gorgeous, richest , most successful friends right now are 30+. I even made a joke recently about how two of my friends unlocked a different kind of beauty after clocking 30.
I think people talk about the twenties being the peak of enjoyment in respect/relative to freedom from responsibilities and the less weight of consequences of your actions
Agree with that second paragraph and can only imagine how beautiful the future years will be if we only approach them with open mindedness and don’t write them off.
Love this so much. Two experiences that helped with ridding me of this idea that our 20s (which I’m also currently in) are the best time of our lives
- I have more friends who are crossing the “boundary” into being 30+. They have so much joy and freedom. I don’t see anything stop or change. Some have kids and families, some don’t. Regardless, they are still live their lives. Fully.
- I saw a recent statistic about how much money you make over your lifetime. On average, the 20s are (significantly) the lowest compared to when you’re older and wiser. Money isn’t happiness, of course, but I think this statistic a good metaphor for most other things. There are so many experiences to be had, people to be met, things to be done, than we could possibly amass in our 20s. It’s physically impossible for these to be the best years.
So here’s to living each decade with the view of exploring life in some new fascinating way. Thank you for sharing!
That’s some really good statistics especially since money does contribute to happiness quite significantly. Thanks for sharing that.
really love this! honestly, I don't think there's any reason to just take that narrative without challenging it too. happiness and joy might look different at different stages of life, but still real!
This is true. Happiness and joy will look different at different stages but they aren’t any less beautiful.
I’m 30, and my twenties were very much “breaking, surviving, being adrift”. There’s no way I’m swallowing the thought that the best times are my 20s cos I’m just gearing up to living the rest of my life as my bests over and over
Rooting for you and I’m sure you’ll have fun. There’s no expiry date on joy!
I’ve never subscribed to the idea that my 20s are the best years of my life. In fact, I actively reject the thoughts.
But with all my effort to reject them, some thoughts and fears around them creeps in without permission.
This beautiful piece is a beautiful reminder that every season of my life has beautiful things in stock.
My best days are ahead of me and not behind me, not even in the present.
Always a big fan of your writings, Michael.
I think that when people talk about your 20s being the best years of your life, it's usually in a context that you describe, the context of freedom and being able to figure things out.
But I think what we value as we grow changes, changing what we use to measure how good our lives are.
And different stages of our life come with different tradeoffs, but I think ultimately, it's finding at those stages, what we value most at that time and finding joy in them, doing them as best we can. If in your 30s, raising kids is what will bring you joy, then you should pursue that ultimately and shift as you need to.
But ultimately, define what will make you happy at different stages of your life and pursue it. And remember that it's not illogical that today is currently your best day, but tomorrow can also be your best day.
i enjoyed reading this, Michael.
i have honestly sat down with this thought: what will i be doing for the rest of my life if i live my best life now? life will be boring, tiring and unfulfilling.
i am in my 20s, and my mantra to life is: live each day at a time. i do not know if I will be alive by my 30s or 40s, but one thing I am never going to do is to cram my 20s with too many things, trying to live all of life in this phase. i am going to achieve things at their right time: get a good job, get married (if i change my mind on this), have kids, travel the world, even if it delays into my 40s or 50s.
like, who makes the rules?
I completely agree with you. this has always been my thought process.
life is long, and depending on what YOU want for YOUR life, success and happiness will mean different things at different points in time.
we'll change, our realities might change too but if we want to be happy, we can do the things that'll make us happy.
If we want to be happy, we can do things that will make us happy.
Answer for you: I don't think I have seen the twenties as the best years of life. I haven't thought about it like that, however my mum always tells me to enjoy this age because it doesn't come back again. To make memories to look back on, memories of being as young and carefree. Memories of (non-costly) mistakes such as using the wrong hair dye for your hair and learning the lesson in a funny way. Memories of being around friends before responsibilities and life take them away to different parts of the world.
I think this is why people tend to call it the best years. The nostalgia associated with things we could do freely. But life brings new experiences with every chapter and, like you stated, the best is still ahead.
When I get to our 30s, I’d also focus on making it the best time of my life just like I’m doing with my 20s.
That’s the mindset I’ve adopted over time.
I don’t even think about my 30s and beyond that much 💀