Issue 34: Why your life is hard
I learned two things this past week: why people choose to live the hard life and how comfort can be an enemy of progress.
I learned two things this past week: why people choose to live the hard life and how comfort can be an enemy of progress.
Part 1: Why do some people choose to live a hard life?
Do you ever wonder why some people seem to live a harder life than others? Why do some individuals continuously push themselves beyond their limits, while others opt for a more comfortable existence? Why do some people up-skill while others don’t bother to? Why do some people get a second degree while others choose not to? Why do some people pursue an extra income while others don’t? Why do people intentionally choose the hard life? The answer lies in a simple yet profound truth: living a hard life is a choice.
At first glance, this assertion may seem counterintuitive. After all, aren't we all taught from primary school that hard work is essential for success? That’s true. Right from the get on, societal values often emphasise the importance of diligence, perseverance, and ambition in achieving our goals.
However, what hasn’t really occurred to me until this last week is that the pursuit of greatness is not a mandate imposed upon us by external forces. Rather, it is a deeply personal decision—a conscious commitment to defy the status quo and carve out our own path in life. You don’t have to be great really. You can choose to live an ordinary life. If you live in Nigeria, that may mean a lot of things. It may mean you don’t get to live a comfortable life because being basic is not enough in a country where even the extraordinary cannot afford basic amenities. But still, even this is a choice. This desire to not live a basic life, to be able to afford all your dreams, to bring your imaginations and bucket lists to life; this is also a personal choice. No one has forced it upon you.
Everyday we make a decision to live the hard life because of the glory that is set before us. The choices we face each day are literally to choose between hard work and laziness and everyday, we choose hard work. We can choose to settle for mediocrity, to accept the hand we've been dealt without question or hesitation. We can choose to prioritise short-term comfort over long-term growth, to deliberately avoid the challenges of personal development in favour of the familiar embrace of routine. Or, we can choose to embrace the discomfort of uncertainty, to embrace the trials and tribulations that accompany the pursuit of our dreams.
Living a great life is not compulsory—it is a privilege afforded only to those who are willing to seize it. It requires courage, determination, and an unwavering belief in oneself. It means rejecting the notion that our worth is determined by external validation, and instead, charting our own course based on our intrinsic values and aspirations.
Part 2: An addiction to comfort is a disease.
In choosing to live a hard life, we must confront the uncomfortable truth that comfort is not our ally, but our enemy. If you love comfort too much, you won’t get anything done. Living the hard life is about trying multiple times and failing multiple times. It’s about starting over and over again. It’s about doing it afraid. It’s about staying up to get work done and then waking up the next day to do it again. It’s about choosing to become a content creator but watching others reach the big numbers but you keep going still. If you’re someone who’s addicted to comfort, you’ll give up easily. You won’t get it done.
During the week, I watched Jensen’s interview at the economic summit at Stanford. When asked what advice he would give to Standford graduates to improve their chances of success, he said:
“You know, one of my great advantages is that I have very low expectations, and I mean that. Most of the Stanford graduates have very high expectations. You deserve to have expectations because you came from a great school. You were very successful, you're on top of your class, obviously, you were able to pay for tuition, and then you're graduating from one of the finest institutions on the planet. You're surrounded by other kids that are just incredible. You should have very high expectations.
People with very high expectations have very low resilience, and unfortunately, resilience matters in success. I don't know how to teach it to you except for I hope suffering happens to you. I was fortunate that I grew up with my parents providing a condition for us to be successful on the one hand, but there were plenty of opportunities for setbacks and suffering.
To this day, I use the phrase "pain and suffering" inside our company with great glee. And I mean that, you know, "Boy, this is going to cause a lot of pain and suffering," and I mean that in a happy way because you want to train, you want to refine the character of your company. You want greatness out of them. Greatness is not intelligence; greatness comes from character. And character isn't formed out of smart people; it's formed out of people who suffered.
So, that's kind of... And so, if I could wish upon you, I don't know how to do it, but for all of you Stanford students, I wish upon you ample doses of pain and suffering.”
It is easy to become complacent, to settle for the path of least resistance rather than confront the challenges that lie ahead. Yet, true growth lies beyond the confines of our comfort zones, in the uncharted territories of uncertainty.
Resilience becomes your greatest asset. You learn to embrace failure not as a deterrent, but as a stepping stone on the path to success. Each setback becomes an opportunity for growth, a chance to refine your skills and sharpen your resolve. You learn the value of sacrificing short-term pleasures for long-term gains, and embracing discomfort in pursuit of greatness.
Yet, for all its challenges, living a hard life is a choice that can lead to unparalleled fulfilment and satisfaction. But that’s what it is: a choice.
In conclusion, living a hard life is a choice that can lead to living a great life. It is not compulsory, but for those who make that choice, comfort becomes an enemy, not a friend. It requires courage, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to our goals. But in the end, the rewards far outweigh the sacrifices. So, if you're willing to embrace the challenges and uncertainties that come with living a hard life, the journey can be truly transformative.
Cheers to the hard life ahead!
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If you understand this essay and you have a clear idea of why people do hard stuff, I’d like hear your thoughts. If you’re also choosing the hard life right now, tell me how in the comments and what that looks like for you. If you’re settling for comfort too, I’d love to hear your thoughts. How is it going?
Have a great week filled with joy and bananas! 🎉
I am currently choosing the hard life by deciding to keep job hunting from lagos and not from the comfort of my circle in Ile-Ife. This is really hard but essential because the constant discomfort from staying at home 24/7 pushes me to develop myself for increased employability possibilities, it also reminds me to keep applying and take chances even when i seem unqualified . I am also becoming less emotionally dependent on my friends. I miss them and the comfort of being able to walk to their hostels when i have a problem but i am learning to sit with my uncomfortable emotions and try to process things myself (sorry this is so long)
Hi Oriade! Thank you so much for this. Not to sound cliché or anything but this letter was so timely. I was stuck, literally glued to the end, (I even read it a third time). Again, thank you for taking out time to write this. Jensen’s advise? I’ll hold on to it. I’ll choose resilience, I’ll reject my comfort zone. I’ll embrace the pain of retaking this MBBS exams again, I’ll embrace the suffering because if I give in now, I’ll be choosing the easier path. Oof! I can’t wait. Thank you once again!