Issue 18: Make Love When You Can

Love is always passing by. That’s the interesting thing about love. It is always on the move.

Jul 09, 2023

people gathering near on buildings — Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

The words above are not my words. They belong to Kurt Vonnegut, American author and humorist. If the name sounds familiar but you can’t place it yet, he is the author of Slaughterhouse Five. If you still can’t remember, just forget it and let’s continue.

The first title I gave this issue was this: Between April and July, I have been making love when I can. But I decided against it for two major reasons. First, it would have been a lie. I have indeed not been making love when I can. I hate to say it but I’ve been falling short in that regard. Vonnegut will be disappointed in me. The second reason I didn’t go with that title is simply because it’s too long. I am already reading a book with a very long title: We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda. Now imagine going ahead with that title; would have been a mouthful.

Last week, I started writing this issue and I got stuck. This was not a surprise. I had not written a newsletter in months so this was bound to happen. I was writing about friendships and how to be intentional about building them. I was inspired by my own tweet here and also by a chat I had with someone who didn’t have any friends. I wanted to write something for them. I hoped that the piece would be helpful to them and any other person struggling to make friends. But I abandoned that after some time.

I have written a lot about friendships already and I don’t have anything new to say. There was no need to write the same thing over and over again. Instead, I can just share links to my thoughts on friendships. If anyone really wants to make friends and they are serious about it, they should read all that [and a host of other resources online. links below] but most importantly, they should try and put in the work. That’s it on friendships.

woman standing while wearing brown off-shoulder crop top — Photo by Jim Flores on Unsplash

This morning - another Sunday - I was scrolling through my Twitter bookmarks when I found the essay I am about to share now. Written by Ross Murray, this is a comedic letter to Kurt Vonnegut [who is dead by the way] addressing his seemingly bad advice. Ross combs through Vonnegut’s works and brings out certain quotes that seem like bad advice and addresses them in a very humorous way. I was laughing out loud [literally] while reading the entire piece.

In one of his pieces, Vonnegut says we are “We are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.” which led a certain Barry to abandon his SATs. This was really funny to me and got me thinking, how about I look at all this bad advice, share my thoughts on them and share it with the club today? So here goes

Bad Advice 1:

Well, this is clearly out of content. Good ol’ Vonnegut would never give such advice to an aspiring surgeon. But then, who knows? If you can dream it, you can do it - as long as I’m not the patient you’re opening up.

Bad Advice 2:

Now what do people have against magic? Magic is fun, cute and sexy. Magic is everything really.

Bad Advice 3:

Now why would Vonnegut do this? How can folks be standing on the Grand Canyon and you tell them they have to jump off cliffs? They are literally on a cliff. This isn’t fun. I have to side with Ross Murray on this one.

Bad Advice 4:

On this, I have to side with Vonnegut. Love is always passing by. That’s the interesting thing about love. It is always on the move. The person you loved two months ago is in love with someone else right now. They probably wore matching clothes to church today. Yes. you’ve been stalking them so don’t pretend as if you don’t know. They stepped out of their black gate in matching ankara and hailed a bike. The lady, the one you loved, climbed first, while the husband joined her on the bike and off they went. You were there by the corner of the street in your Toyota Camry, alone, listening to Omah Lay’s Reason. When you had the chance to ask her out, you wanted to buy a car. Now you have a car but no one to ride or ride with. You’re riding alone on your trip to misery. I have a solution: you should throw your car away. How do you plan to meet your lover who is climbing bike when you’re riding motor car around? See that you actually lack priorities and you have no iota of shame. You should be embarrassed. Drive that car to Obalende and abandon it under the bridge with the keys inside. Before you return to Ikeja, you will find your true love. I have spoken.

Love is always on the move. And I know we hear it everyday that if you love somebody, tell them. I can say for a fact that I’m a believer of these sage words and I actually practice them. If I love you, you wouldn’t have to guess. My words will flow. I will tell you over and over again unless you don’t feel the same and tell me to stop. But that rarely ever happens right?

Alright, this is the end. If this feels unlike me, if this issue feels too funny, it’s because I’m just returning from an unplanned hiatus and this is my way of saying, I’m back. Enjoy this piece, share it with people and ask them to subscribe to my newsletter. If you have a crush, send this to them. They should get the hint. If they don’t, uncrush them. They don’t deserve you.

To read today’s essay titled, Your Services as a Guidance Counselor Are no Longer Required, Mr. Vonnegut by Ross Murray, tap here.

Links to everything I’ve written on friendships [and other resources]:

If you enjoy reading my newsletter, share it with a friend. Just send them this link [theerclub.substack.com] or use the button below. Also, drop a comment so I know what you think about this issue.

Have a lovely week, and yes, throw your car away! And tell me what you’ve been up to…have you been making love when you can?

The ER Club

Discussion about this post